Dear Mom

Good morning. It's been a long time since I talked to you. Are you out in the world of spirits feeling fine and having a good time? I can see you and Dad dancing up a storm and laughing.
Remember when you and he would put on your nice clothes and go dancing on Saturday nights? Sometimes, you'd take me with you. Later on, I'd get tired and go out and sleep in the back seat of that big ole green Plymouth. I didn't know it then, but those were good days. I remember once I took a big swig of your Mogan David concord grape wine by accident. I was about nine. It was about the awfullest grape juice I ever tasted. You and Dad laughed about it...pointing and saying something about green persimmons, then laughing harder.

Do you remember when you and I drove to Nowata so I could interview for that scholarship? When I got it I was so happy. I was always happy to make you proud. We stayed in a hotel in Claremore and had room service...that was treat enough, but then you ordered shrimp cocktail for me. I'd never had it before. Thank you for that experience. I'm sorry I didn't finish college and make you prouder, but I kinda lost myself when you left.

I don't think I've ended up badly, though. I wound up enlisting, marrying a good and intelligent man, and bearing him two sons. It hasn't exactly been a happily-ever-after kind of thing, but then, most things aren't. We are still together, and the love is still there, despite the curves life has thrown us. Thanks for teaching me perserverence and patience...and so many other things that have gotten me through.

The boys are teenagers now. Have you seen them? I'm so sorry you moved on before you could hold your grandsons, and sorrier that they only get to hear stories of you. Sometimes I see you in them, and it's beautiful. They are so smart, Momma. You'd be so proud of them both. The older one is pensive and quiet, but has a marvelous sense of humor when he lets it show. I'll never forget the look in his eyes when he was born. He was so alert...he just studied me with his curious and serious eyes. His eyes are grey-blue, like yours. He keeps inside himself a lot like I used to do, but he doesn't miss a trick. I hope I don't have to break down his walls like you had to do for me that time. The younger one has a way of understanding people emotionally, and his wit can be quite uncanny for a boy his age. He's a clown, and has been since before he could sit up. He loves to speak in silly voices and accents. He's very open and loving, and he has a strong appreciation and love of music, all kinds. They are both the lights of my life.

I like to think you're out there... up there... somewhere... watching... when you've got the time. Just make sure you're getting time to dance.