I'm not supposed to feel this way

(I may regret this, but...here goes.)



I'm Not Supposed to Feel This Way


I’m not supposed to feel this way.
I want.
I want…
To feel your warm skin next to mine
To feel and hear your heartbeat in my ear
To gaze into your questioning eyes as my heart pounds against your palm
To find out if your mouth is as sweet and tender as it looks
Would one taste be enough?

I want…
To see through to you the way I feel you see through to me
To hold you in the night
To be your comfort and heal your pain
To help you see your own beauty
To feel you tremble at the touch of my hand
To tremble at the touch of yours, in return
To speak the same language without a sound
Are you listening?

Look in my eyes.
Hear me. Please.
I can’t say it out loud

I am afraid…
To tell you what bubbles beneath the surface
To let on to you what I desire
Would you feel the same?
Would it frighten you as it does me?
Would you despise me?
Would you stay away?
Would it destroy everything that matters?
Would you forgive me for feeling this way?

I’m not supposed to...feel this way.
No, I’m not supposed to…
I’m not. I’m not.
I’m not supposed to feel this way.
Forgive my weakness, but it just won’t go away.